Introduction

For every love found as many or more have been lost along the way. I know I've had my share as I'm sure most of you have. But I feel that true love never really dies. It may fade but a part of that feeling stays with you forever.

But the pain you feel when love fades is very real indeed and surely the strongest emotional pain a person can ever experience. Some people don't survive that pain and many are damaged forever because of a love that didn't last.

If you could actually lose love completely there would be no pain. But relationships do end and love itself can lose it's intensity over a period of time. And that is what this chapter is about. Some of the poems were written over a love I only thought I had lost but that returned to me and remains with me even now. It's a scary feeling though, thinking that a love has ended. Almost losing it and finding it again can be an emotional roller coaster.

As the old saying goes, "you never miss the water till the well runs dry". So I included these poems in the book mostly as a reminder to myself as to how important love is and to make me appreciate the love I have all the more. Perhaps we all need a reminder every now and then.

A. W. G.

IF YOU COULD SEE ME NOW

Remember how I used to be,
When I was young and you were free?
Love was a toy I tossed around,
I had no chains to hold me down.
If you could see me now.

Remember how I laughed at fear,
And never cried a lonely tear?
I dreamed of love throughout the night,
Embraced with joy the morning light.
If you could see me now.

Now time has gone and passed me by,
I sit alone each night and cry.
Your memories haunt me as I think,
And thoughts grow dim with every drink.
If you could see me now.

Often I wonder where you are today,
And I suppose you wonder why I went away.
It never was because of you,
Just something that I had to do.
If you could see me now.

Today the sun shines bright outside,
But my soul is dark with no place to hide.
Your face I see in another drink,
And I cry and wonder what you'd think,
If you could see me now.

SOLDIER IN THE RAIN

Morning clouds begin to gather,
As I stand on the bank of the river.
Years are gone and time goes on,
Remembering you, I begin to shiver.

I remember years ago
I had so many plans.
But here I stand, a lonely soldier,
Holding out empty hands.

They say time is a healer,
They say it cures all pain.
Then why do the tears still fall?
I'm just a soldier in the rain.

I keep on hoping that someday soon
You'll come running back to me.
But I've always been a dreamer,
Wanting things that can never be.

Falling stars and wishing wells,
Will things ever be the same?
Each day is like the one left behind,
Just a lonely soldier in the rain.


SURVIVE THE LOSS

Here I am between a bar stool
And your memory.
And the more I drink,
The stronger it becomes.
In this game of love we're playing,
It's all over.
I'm the loser, so I guess
That means you won.

All my life I tried to find
The simple answers.
But there doesn't seem to be
An easy way.
So I'll sit right here till
Happy hour is over,
And I'll drink and cry
The emptiness away.

The only thing I ever could believe in
Said good-bye and now the happiness is gone.
My mistakes were just too much
For her to live through,
Who can blame her if she'd rather be alone?

Take good care and keep the smiles
I once gave you.
You're a beauty and they look
So good on you.
Save your heart until you find
The one you need, dear.
Don't fall in love until you know
The love is true.

No one knows why sometimes love
Can't last forever.
But I know it's always been
That way for me.
I just hope and pray your own luck
Turns out better.
I accept the way I knew
It had to be.

I'll still love you till this lonely life is over,
And someday you will forget the pain I caused.
I never meant to hurt you, please believe me,
If I know you do then I'll survive the loss.

DARK NIGHTS ALONE

See the light,
Shining through the window?
The morning is coming soon.
But you know,
Every night the wind blows,
The past is a haunting moon.

See the boy,
Living in his daydreams,
Hoping she just might care.
But he knows,
No matter how real they seem,
Soon they could be nightmares.

And they wonder,
Where it will end.
Are they lovers,
Or not even friends?

See them talking,
What do they say?
Are they walking
Or running away?
Running away.

See the girl,
Smiling at her flowers,
She thinks that she's got it made.
But tonight,
She won't see their colors,
The darkness will make them fade.

Then she'll know,
She should have listened closely,
To all of the things he said.
Darkness comes,
The moon is glowing ghostly,
Shadow doubts run through her head.


They've been missing
The truth all along.
Now they're listening
To love's dying song.

Music's ending,
Soon to be gone.
They'll be spending
Those dark nights alone,
Dark nights alone.


CRASH AND BURN

So you think you're a Romeo,
You're laying there in the afterglow,
You're feeling fine - but do you know
Where the feelings go?

Closed your eyes and you fell in love,
Had a taste, but it's not enough.
Lost your way - then you gave it up,
What were you thinking of?

Are you really what you think you are?
You seem to feel you're a shooting star,
But your light doesn't travel far,
No one knows your name.
You gain respect as you live and learn,
A shooting star has to crash and burn,
Did anyone explain?

You take a trip but you never leave,
So many lies, who should you believe?
All your friends - how they can deceive,
Will you ever see?

All your life you have tried in vain,
Your light was shining through the falling rain.
Lost your heart - and you felt the pain,
Then you went insane.

Will you be happy living all alone?
Can you make it when you're on you own?
When love is dying, where do lovers go,
Do they fade away?
Will the memories bring you happiness,
Or remind you of the emptiness
You feel today?

Your future is so hard to see,
Past mistakes are now just history.
Ask yourself - "Will she remember me?"
Just wait and see.

Old lovers can never be good friends,
And when the fun and loving ends,
You'll wonder if your heart will mend,
It's broke again.
So when it's over, let the feelings die.
It never does too much good to cry.
Don't waste your time by asking how or why,
You lost your way.
Say good-bye and go your separate ways,
And let the memories of those painful days
Just fade away.

You took a chance but you lost your heart,
Somehow the tears tore it all apart.
You're all alone when the crying starts,
And she departs.

It's over now and it's time to go.
No one cares if you make it home.
It's not easy - and you're so alone.
When the love is gone.

Now you know what it really means,
You live your life but you lose your dreams,
Your happiness, it always seems,
You have to earn.
When the time comes to settle down,
You need a friend but there's none around,
Will you crash and burn?


STAY

Changes and decisions,
I know I've had my share.
Even when I made them,
No one really cared.

Now I've reached the limit,
There will be no turning back.
I'm tired of the illusions,
I see them slowly crack.

You don't have to love me,
You don't have to smile.
Just lay down here beside me,
And stay with me awhile.

I tried to make some changes
To make it all work out.
And in the final moments,
Still I had my doubts.

Let the feelings die now,
Just throw the years away.
Pretend you never knew me,
But say tonight you'll stay.

You don't have to want me,
You don't have to care.
Tomorrow is a new day,
Tonight will take us there.


WHEN IT'S OVER

You tell me you're so happy now
And you think it will never end.
But I've seen it happen many times,
And I know it can happen again.

Years ago I had your thoughts too,
Thought true love could never die.
But all the years have proved me wrong,
Love is just a terrible lie,
When it's over.

Baby, I'm just a drifter
Always searching for another place.
I keep leaving the past behind
In my search for a brand new face.

Now I know I may have upset you,
I didn't mean to make you cry.
I just thought you ought to understand
So if I leave you won't ask me why,
When it's over.


REMEMBER ME

We've slept alone
Too many nights,
To think our love
Would turn out right.

Love is not forever,
At least it's not for me.
Each time love is over
More clearly I can see.

But life must still go on,
Although it's not the same.
Love comes and goes,
Like soft summer rain.

Tears may be shed,
But lessons are learned.
The price must be paid,
For the love we have earned.

And in the end, when time runs down,
When once again, no one's around,
And all you have are memories,
I wonder if you'll remember me.

I had some dreams,
And you were my star.
You lighted my way,
I have traveled so far.

The paths I chose to walk,
Were never paved in gold.
But the warmth you've given me,
Will keep me from the cold.

Somewhere in your eyes,
I found my fantasies.
But now the future calls,
With it's realities.

I wish you forever,
The smiles you deserve.
Someday you will find,
A happier love.

But in the end, when time runs down,
And once again, no one's around,
Remembering how it used to be,
I hope you'll still remember me.


THAT'S HISTORY
 

Walking down this winding road,
Wondering where my life is leading,
I don't know,
And I can't see.
I'm struggling with a heavy load,
Losing ground, my heart is bleeding,
But you know,
That's history.

Passing time along the way,
Trying hard to understand,
Just how you feel,
And why you cry.
It's getting harder every day,
I feel you slipping through my hands,
Is this real?
You said good-bye.

Oh, baby I want you to stay,
Never needed you more than today.
I'm ready for you,
Oh baby, are you ready for me?
What will I do,
If you say you want to be free?
I just don't know what to say,
If you take all the smiles away.

We've been in love so very long,
Sharing all our thoughts together,
Could it be,
It's over now?
Never knew a love this strong,
I hoped that it might last forever,
Reality,
Was lost somehow.

When I'm on my feet again,
Better things are sure to happen,
Just one way
To go from here.
Listening to the whispering wind,
Telling me I'll soon be happy,
Please take away,
These empty fears.

This wasn't just a game we played,
Remember all the love we made.
I'd give it all for you,
You gave so much for me.
But what can I do,
If you want to be free?
Surely all my debts are paid,
I can't believe our love will fade.